It's late now after 11 pm I know I need sleep but the gigantic red bull I drank a couple hours ago has yet to ware off. Anybody else awake? Trouble sleeping? Care to discuss it? Well, if not that's OK
Had this new blog in the back of my mind all day.Trying to rack my brain on a topic to appeal to people and then just like that I realized I don't care. Writing in itself feels therapeutic and if no one cares to read that's OK I will just keep going for myself. Today I didn't get to talk to my husband for very long he has been gone since January for training and at first when he left we had drifted so far a part that divorce seemed inevitable but the longer we are a part the more we both seem to realize we need each other. At first when he left I thought WooHoo I can have the middle of the bed!!!! It was awesome for like two seconds........and then....reality hit and loneliness set in. Not that I mind being alone but I found that I missed him I genuinely missed him and the crazy stuff he did that drove me crazy.I gave it some time wondering if it would pass but each day he has been gone my longing for him has grown. I know him finishing training will be bitter sweet. Finally being together and rekindling what we thought was lost only to be separated within the year for yet again an inevitable deployment.
He has spoken of possibly having another child we have two already our daughter is six and our son is four. I wonder if it is the right thing to do. Suppose I will dwell on that as I attempt to drift off to sleep.
If anyone is reading this entry feel free to add opinions or suggestions at will.
Good Night.